the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
