I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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