roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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