The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
