Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
