They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
