What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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