He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
