Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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