He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
