She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
