In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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