you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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