I think i peed on brittanys purse
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
