My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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