There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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