doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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