Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
