After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
