He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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