If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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