I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I need moral support for this bender
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
