do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
