i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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