Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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