Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
