I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
