2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
