i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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