The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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