guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Walk of Shame today included voting.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
