Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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