Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
