Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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