just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
