im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
