I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
