Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
