So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He kissed a someone with a penis
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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