I must be too annoying 4 u.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
