Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
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This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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