There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
