Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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