It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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