You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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