So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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