i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I want to be your penis for a week.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
