just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
