ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
