Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
