I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
