I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
