dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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