I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize