just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You need a sexual gate keeper
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
