when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
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His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
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Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction