Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It's just like the Real World with babies
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
