Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
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she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's never too late to be topless.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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