you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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