all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
being pregnant is like rehab
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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