so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
