Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think a kid would responsible me up
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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