Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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