he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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