Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
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