You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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