Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
